I don't like it when people keep things from me.
Even if it's supposedly small, or insignificant.
I know the matter at hand had to do with me, hence the only reason for my concern.
I'm irritated with a lot of things right now... my agent, people who owe me money but won't pay up, lack of sex, mistress in a mood, and rude emails from clients who I turned down because I'm booked elsewhere and can't be in two places at once.
I really want to just destroy something right now. Like in the scene from Office Space.
I want to take a Louisville Slugger to some computer equipment.
And I want to find a clean girl, eat her out, and fuck the shit out of her.
I don't really care who, right now, providing she's disease free. I'm frustrated and need a release.
I'm THAT pissed off, lol.
Some things...
I found a box today... I had to quickly close it and label it "seven."
A few seconds later I opened it up again and proceeded to bawl like a baby. For an hour, at least.
I'm baffled by how something like that can still hurt so bad. I had no control over the situation, nor any say in the decisions and actions of those involved. Still, I can't help but look at these printouts and trinkets and completely lose my mind all over again.
They were mine, too.
And while I am thankful, I am also not the best at coping with the facts.
I just wanted stability in my life. 2½ years later, I think I finally have it...
but getting here took far too long. I hope that there is still some good guy left in me for someone who deserves it.
Time to crank up some music and try my damn hardest to clear my mind.
A few seconds later I opened it up again and proceeded to bawl like a baby. For an hour, at least.
I'm baffled by how something like that can still hurt so bad. I had no control over the situation, nor any say in the decisions and actions of those involved. Still, I can't help but look at these printouts and trinkets and completely lose my mind all over again.
They were mine, too.
And while I am thankful, I am also not the best at coping with the facts.
I just wanted stability in my life. 2½ years later, I think I finally have it...
but getting here took far too long. I hope that there is still some good guy left in me for someone who deserves it.
Time to crank up some music and try my damn hardest to clear my mind.
Good thing goin'
I've got a good thing goin'.
And I don't wanna fuck it up.
That's a pretty damn good reason to be successful, I think.
And I don't wanna fuck it up.
That's a pretty damn good reason to be successful, I think.
Magic
Magic is as much a business as banking, or the sale of wholesale lumber. It has to be dealt with professionally and ethically, as well as actively.
Do you want to perform? Get off your ass and get the venue's.
Do you want money for it? Promote it out of your own pocket.
Do you want to be famous? Be good at it once you get the crowd.
I have been working behind the scenes for months on a new gig... and today I finally landed it.
I signed a contract that any magician, much less one my age, would die for, figuratively speaking.
I'll be on the road soon, with my own show, all over the country again.
AND I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!! :D
Do you want to perform? Get off your ass and get the venue's.
Do you want money for it? Promote it out of your own pocket.
Do you want to be famous? Be good at it once you get the crowd.
I have been working behind the scenes for months on a new gig... and today I finally landed it.
I signed a contract that any magician, much less one my age, would die for, figuratively speaking.
I'll be on the road soon, with my own show, all over the country again.
AND I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!! :D
Sluggo's
First off, there is a short photography rant. Magic at the end, stay tuned.
So, I recently learned what the term "Sluggo" means. It's a model's jealous controlling boyfriend.
Anyway, three recent shoots I had scheduled were cancelled because of the B/F.
One, when scheduling she said, "Don't put anything on my FB that we're shooting. My b/f doesn't like me modeling anymore," and she's an upstart model trying to become a full-timer.
Another one said, "I have to cancel, sorry; I showed my bf your work and he loves it and would rather do a couples shoot instead of the thing we were supposed to shoot today." (When I let her know that I didn't need couples shoots for my port and it wouldn't be TF*, she got mad, and couldn't believe that I'd make her pay for a shoot. Needless to say, we will not be working together).
The last one said, "be really careful not to delete ANY photos off the card or anything. my b/f will check the image numbers and timestamps to make sure nothing was deleted or a lot of time passed during the shoot where something could happen."
If your significant other is that paranoid, don't be a model -- or leave them. Make a choice, and leave me out of it...
Which brings me to a very, important point, the reason I made this entry!
I actually had a performance cancelled by a jealous b/f.
My ONLY dealings with this woman consisted of her finding my website on her own, sending me an e-mail asking if I did adult parties, as she wanted to plan a surprise for her b/f who loves magic; and me replying with my rates and the words, "I can't wait to work for you!" like I always do.
Almost verbatim,
"Hello. My name is K*****, and I was curious if you perform for all-adult parties. My b/f really loves magic and I want to surprise him with a magic show. All of our friends and us like more nightclubbish and a little crude humor so I'm looking for the perfect fit for his party. Is this something you can do? Also, he knows a lot of magicians so if you know him don't tell him what I'm planning!! (: If you can do this, how much do you charge? -K****"
and my reply
"Hi K*****! I do, indeed, cater to adult parties. And not to worry, as a professional I'm quite good at keeping secrets. I certainly won't tell him, haha, so it should be an exciting occasion for all! Are you looking for a half hour or full hour? My rates are $*** and $*** respectively. Let me know; I can't wait to work for you! Magically, Aaron Stone"
The event, unbeknownst to her "man," was his surprise birthday party. I got a phone call (the number matched the number her e-mail signature provided) from a very angry, upset man who hung up on me (conversation to be transcribed following...) after screaming a load of obscenities about how what I'm doing is morally wrong and how I'm never to e-mail his "girl" ever again, or he'll "kill" me.
The conversation, "Hello?"
"Yea is this Aaron Stone?"
"This is he! What can I do for you?"
"Listen up motherfucker, I don't know who you think you are but I read the e-mail you sent to my girl and I know she never fucking contacted you cause her sent mail is cleaned out and I don't know who you think you are mutherfucker but she don't have the money for a professional loverboy and she ain't gonna spend my fucking money on no jiggalo for when I'm at work putting food on her fucking table. You contact her ever again and I swear to god I'll kill you muthafucker gangbangin prostitue!"
Before I could reply, or laugh, even, he hung up. I didn't bother calling back. I figure I'll get a phone call apology soon enough.
So, I recently learned what the term "Sluggo" means. It's a model's jealous controlling boyfriend.
Anyway, three recent shoots I had scheduled were cancelled because of the B/F.
One, when scheduling she said, "Don't put anything on my FB that we're shooting. My b/f doesn't like me modeling anymore," and she's an upstart model trying to become a full-timer.
Another one said, "I have to cancel, sorry; I showed my bf your work and he loves it and would rather do a couples shoot instead of the thing we were supposed to shoot today." (When I let her know that I didn't need couples shoots for my port and it wouldn't be TF*, she got mad, and couldn't believe that I'd make her pay for a shoot. Needless to say, we will not be working together).
The last one said, "be really careful not to delete ANY photos off the card or anything. my b/f will check the image numbers and timestamps to make sure nothing was deleted or a lot of time passed during the shoot where something could happen."
If your significant other is that paranoid, don't be a model -- or leave them. Make a choice, and leave me out of it...
Which brings me to a very, important point, the reason I made this entry!
I actually had a performance cancelled by a jealous b/f.
My ONLY dealings with this woman consisted of her finding my website on her own, sending me an e-mail asking if I did adult parties, as she wanted to plan a surprise for her b/f who loves magic; and me replying with my rates and the words, "I can't wait to work for you!" like I always do.
Almost verbatim,
"Hello. My name is K*****, and I was curious if you perform for all-adult parties. My b/f really loves magic and I want to surprise him with a magic show. All of our friends and us like more nightclubbish and a little crude humor so I'm looking for the perfect fit for his party. Is this something you can do? Also, he knows a lot of magicians so if you know him don't tell him what I'm planning!! (: If you can do this, how much do you charge? -K****"
and my reply
"Hi K*****! I do, indeed, cater to adult parties. And not to worry, as a professional I'm quite good at keeping secrets. I certainly won't tell him, haha, so it should be an exciting occasion for all! Are you looking for a half hour or full hour? My rates are $*** and $*** respectively. Let me know; I can't wait to work for you! Magically, Aaron Stone"
The event, unbeknownst to her "man," was his surprise birthday party. I got a phone call (the number matched the number her e-mail signature provided) from a very angry, upset man who hung up on me (conversation to be transcribed following...) after screaming a load of obscenities about how what I'm doing is morally wrong and how I'm never to e-mail his "girl" ever again, or he'll "kill" me.
The conversation, "Hello?"
"Yea is this Aaron Stone?"
"This is he! What can I do for you?"
"Listen up motherfucker, I don't know who you think you are but I read the e-mail you sent to my girl and I know she never fucking contacted you cause her sent mail is cleaned out and I don't know who you think you are mutherfucker but she don't have the money for a professional loverboy and she ain't gonna spend my fucking money on no jiggalo for when I'm at work putting food on her fucking table. You contact her ever again and I swear to god I'll kill you muthafucker gangbangin prostitue!"
Before I could reply, or laugh, even, he hung up. I didn't bother calling back. I figure I'll get a phone call apology soon enough.
Promotional Photos
I'm not upset that I'm not doing photos for a certain convention, because that's not something I typically market specifically. Yes, I do headshots for magicians; so does Faverty, Amyx, etc.. but we don't try to get in on the "convenient headshot" market.
A guy named "Ken Reedy" is doing them for Abra-CORN-dabra. He's not charging much, and that's a good thing. First off, I spent nearly 4 minutes trying to find this guy's website. (For the record, that's WAY too long for someone like me to find something). I found it, and his MySpace, and his LinkedIn and a few others, and in all of them he professes to be a "professional photographer for 12 years and a professional magician for 35 years."
This brings me to a very, very specific point: professional, here in America, has come to mean 'get paid to do it,' not about the quality of your service. Everywhere else in the world, a professional service is qualified, high quality, and masterful.
http://newphotosbyme.com/
Take a look. It's terrible.
So, I'm not upset in any way about not being the photographer there -- I'm upset that people are going to pay for that crap. I've done most of my really good stuff for free.
A guy named "Ken Reedy" is doing them for Abra-CORN-dabra. He's not charging much, and that's a good thing. First off, I spent nearly 4 minutes trying to find this guy's website. (For the record, that's WAY too long for someone like me to find something). I found it, and his MySpace, and his LinkedIn and a few others, and in all of them he professes to be a "professional photographer for 12 years and a professional magician for 35 years."
This brings me to a very, very specific point: professional, here in America, has come to mean 'get paid to do it,' not about the quality of your service. Everywhere else in the world, a professional service is qualified, high quality, and masterful.
http://newphotosbyme.com/
Take a look. It's terrible.
So, I'm not upset in any way about not being the photographer there -- I'm upset that people are going to pay for that crap. I've done most of my really good stuff for free.
"Banned" Together
I'm not sure why, but today I was banned from yet another magic forum. It's not like I particularly care, but this seems to be for no reason at all. Did I just win the buzzword bingo?
I could always just make a stage name and become "super popular" with that name instead, but I really like my name (so does Disney, apparently).
Anyway, I'll be in Las Vegas a couple of weeks. It'll be fun to see a lot of other performers and a few great friends again. I'm actually only going to shoot promo shots for people, but I might drop by WMS once, just to see what I'm missing.
Also, there is a fun entry on my other magic blog. If you know where it is, it's worth a read...
I could always just make a stage name and become "super popular" with that name instead, but I really like my name (so does Disney, apparently).
Anyway, I'll be in Las Vegas a couple of weeks. It'll be fun to see a lot of other performers and a few great friends again. I'm actually only going to shoot promo shots for people, but I might drop by WMS once, just to see what I'm missing.
Also, there is a fun entry on my other magic blog. If you know where it is, it's worth a read...
Covert Operations
I now have more domains and "TragicCafe" usernames than they could ever track down.
On a totally different note, I'm going to be teaching classes out of my apartment again! I'm listed as an instructor on BetterFly, a tutor website, specifically under the category of "Magic Instruction." This makes me happy..
Also, I wrote out an entire script for my McDonald's magic show. It should be rather hilarious. Video to follow after I move...
On a totally different note, I'm going to be teaching classes out of my apartment again! I'm listed as an instructor on BetterFly, a tutor website, specifically under the category of "Magic Instruction." This makes me happy..
Also, I wrote out an entire script for my McDonald's magic show. It should be rather hilarious. Video to follow after I move...
Special Delivery
One of my favorite memories of the road [wow does that sound cliché] is from Colorado. We were stopped for the night at a truck stop, in between two huge mountains.
1. Noun · In this case, mountains does not refer to breasts.
I google'd Domino's and convinced the guy to accept directions instead of an address.
It's kinda odd, having pizza delivered to a tour bus with your name on it.
But very fun to describe to people over the phone.
It's also fun to play "emotionally sensitive drama queen." I walked into a truck stop, while the crew is filling up the diesel, the cashier says, "So who's Aaron Stone?" I looked insulted, and walked out. While the crew inside calmly explained "he's a magician, miss, a damn good one -- and you're lucky he just walked away after a comment like that."
It's nice to feel like a rockstar once in a while.
Even when you're really not.
Having pizza delivered to the bus is certainly something I don't mind bragging about.
1. Noun · In this case, mountains does not refer to breasts.
I google'd Domino's and convinced the guy to accept directions instead of an address.
It's kinda odd, having pizza delivered to a tour bus with your name on it.
But very fun to describe to people over the phone.
It's also fun to play "emotionally sensitive drama queen." I walked into a truck stop, while the crew is filling up the diesel, the cashier says, "So who's Aaron Stone?" I looked insulted, and walked out. While the crew inside calmly explained "he's a magician, miss, a damn good one -- and you're lucky he just walked away after a comment like that."
It's nice to feel like a rockstar once in a while.
Even when you're really not.
Having pizza delivered to the bus is certainly something I don't mind bragging about.
Sometimes it hurts...
When you have to make the decision to give up things for the sake of a better act.
But I suppose we must all ride the wave of change, so we are not caught beneath it.
I just miss wearing all black with red accents.
It just doesn't speak the right message, though.
Luckily, that's all about to change.
Peek at www.aaronthemagician.com to see where it's going.
I am adamantly not advertising that I do shows for children. Yes, I will do them, but only if asked.
I am so tired of fitting the stereotype of "magician."
I'm ready to be called an entertainer.
But I suppose we must all ride the wave of change, so we are not caught beneath it.
I just miss wearing all black with red accents.
It just doesn't speak the right message, though.
Luckily, that's all about to change.
Peek at www.aaronthemagician.com to see where it's going.
I am adamantly not advertising that I do shows for children. Yes, I will do them, but only if asked.
I am so tired of fitting the stereotype of "magician."
I'm ready to be called an entertainer.
Black Art
I've spent a lot of time lately looking into stage lighting, and it reminded me that I wanted to briefly put a rumor to rest.
First off, black art is not a collection of Aunt Jemima bottles.
Nextly,
Somewhere, a performer I know got it into his head that black art relied solely on a deep blue wash of light. And no other colors. Period.
Obviously, this theory is flawed. Realistically, you want even lighting, not a solid color. Black art relies on each black surface blending together seamlessly. Easy ways to do that? Use the flattest, darkest blacks. Lighting should be full, but not direct, and certainly not all the same color.
A great man once said in a lecture that pissed a few people off, "The way something has been done is not necessarily the way it should be done."
Ponder this...
First off, black art is not a collection of Aunt Jemima bottles.
Nextly,
Somewhere, a performer I know got it into his head that black art relied solely on a deep blue wash of light. And no other colors. Period.
Obviously, this theory is flawed. Realistically, you want even lighting, not a solid color. Black art relies on each black surface blending together seamlessly. Easy ways to do that? Use the flattest, darkest blacks. Lighting should be full, but not direct, and certainly not all the same color.
A great man once said in a lecture that pissed a few people off, "The way something has been done is not necessarily the way it should be done."
Ponder this...
Opinions
Tonight, I learned that I seriously not only don't appreciate opinions from other magicians, but I outright hate it. Don't get me wrong, my close friends (heh, the two people who actually read this plus one more) have opinions I value and consider strongly.
But tonight I went to a magic club meeting. While this is a step forward for me in and of itself, I was downright pissed off by how close-minded some of the older members of the club were. One man (whose act routinely looks as though it would be better if all of his mistakes were intentional) got up and left during a lecture on creativity and progression of thought.
The man who left considers himself to be a "professional," and has before told the same audience he vacated that he was available to "help with your act" if you wished. This man's act could've used the material he intentionally and rudely skipped out on. For this reason and abashedly hypocritical, narrow-minded viewpoint on the craft he claims to love, I no longer value the opinion of someone who I do not explicitly ask. That's not to say I will stop asking people's opinions.
Why? Doesn't this sound like I'm becoming the guy I just complained about? No. Look at the details a bit closer.
The man paid money to go hear someone's thoughts and opinions and creations, then because he felt belittled by someone better than him that he had to leave. It was not a quiet, polite exit, either. Rather, a rude "storming out of the room" of sorts.
If I go to a lecture, I want the input. I want the opinions, I want other people's views. You don't go to a Democratic rally and get upset because there's no Republicans speaking. This is the same thing. Exactly the same.
Magic shouldn't be political. It should be a group of professionals, hobbyists, and the like -- all working to improve the craft. Hard-headed and stubborn ego-maniacs need not apply -- just get the fuck out and stay out.
But tonight I went to a magic club meeting. While this is a step forward for me in and of itself, I was downright pissed off by how close-minded some of the older members of the club were. One man (whose act routinely looks as though it would be better if all of his mistakes were intentional) got up and left during a lecture on creativity and progression of thought.
The man who left considers himself to be a "professional," and has before told the same audience he vacated that he was available to "help with your act" if you wished. This man's act could've used the material he intentionally and rudely skipped out on. For this reason and abashedly hypocritical, narrow-minded viewpoint on the craft he claims to love, I no longer value the opinion of someone who I do not explicitly ask. That's not to say I will stop asking people's opinions.
Why? Doesn't this sound like I'm becoming the guy I just complained about? No. Look at the details a bit closer.
The man paid money to go hear someone's thoughts and opinions and creations, then because he felt belittled by someone better than him that he had to leave. It was not a quiet, polite exit, either. Rather, a rude "storming out of the room" of sorts.
If I go to a lecture, I want the input. I want the opinions, I want other people's views. You don't go to a Democratic rally and get upset because there's no Republicans speaking. This is the same thing. Exactly the same.
Magic shouldn't be political. It should be a group of professionals, hobbyists, and the like -- all working to improve the craft. Hard-headed and stubborn ego-maniacs need not apply -- just get the fuck out and stay out.
Epileptic in a Lettuce Patch
Seizure Salad!
Okay, so while at a mall in Indiana, the crew and I were busy promoting the magic show. We have a little kiosk setup to sell magic tricks, show tickets, and more. I am on a broom suspension for 2-4 hours at a time, just to draw people's attention.
Well, I'm floating. 100-150 people are walking past every minute or so, it's a high-traffic area that is getting us a lot of exposure. I look over just in time to see one of our stage hands apparently trip, fall flat on his face an begin shaking violently. He was carrying an energy drink, which he crumpled and quickly released.
It's funny, actually, looking back. I wish he could've seen himself bust...
Anyway, I yelled out his name, then our bosses' name, and pointed. Soon a few people were crowded near him to help him through it. Meanwhile, I'm floating. Stuck. I was now basically in charge of trying to distract people from the tremor-ridden boy 30 feet away, writing in agony in his leather and chains.
This all would've been marked as just an "odd occurrence," had it not been for this one family that stopped by me.
The mom asked me, "What's wrong with him?" And seeing her young kids looking worried next to her, I politely whispered, "He'll be fine." The kids say, "mommy what's wrong with that man over there?!" She looks at me for an answer, and I nervously, quietly reply, "he's having a seizure. He's had them before and there are two trained paramedics on our staff helping him through it now."
I kid you not, she looks at her kids and says, "kids, his brain went *makes explosion noise, and gestures to simulate a head combusting*, he'll be okay."
It was everything I could do to not bust out laughing.
I told our stagehand this after he got back from a checkup at the local hospital.
He got the security tape from the mall and now plays the footage of this mom "exploding his head" for all of his friends.
Okay, so while at a mall in Indiana, the crew and I were busy promoting the magic show. We have a little kiosk setup to sell magic tricks, show tickets, and more. I am on a broom suspension for 2-4 hours at a time, just to draw people's attention.
Well, I'm floating. 100-150 people are walking past every minute or so, it's a high-traffic area that is getting us a lot of exposure. I look over just in time to see one of our stage hands apparently trip, fall flat on his face an begin shaking violently. He was carrying an energy drink, which he crumpled and quickly released.
It's funny, actually, looking back. I wish he could've seen himself bust...
Anyway, I yelled out his name, then our bosses' name, and pointed. Soon a few people were crowded near him to help him through it. Meanwhile, I'm floating. Stuck. I was now basically in charge of trying to distract people from the tremor-ridden boy 30 feet away, writing in agony in his leather and chains.
This all would've been marked as just an "odd occurrence," had it not been for this one family that stopped by me.
The mom asked me, "What's wrong with him?" And seeing her young kids looking worried next to her, I politely whispered, "He'll be fine." The kids say, "mommy what's wrong with that man over there?!" She looks at me for an answer, and I nervously, quietly reply, "he's having a seizure. He's had them before and there are two trained paramedics on our staff helping him through it now."
I kid you not, she looks at her kids and says, "kids, his brain went *makes explosion noise, and gestures to simulate a head combusting*, he'll be okay."
It was everything I could do to not bust out laughing.
I told our stagehand this after he got back from a checkup at the local hospital.
He got the security tape from the mall and now plays the footage of this mom "exploding his head" for all of his friends.
Quick Dislike
Briefly, I hate videos like this. Not because it's another "rocky" video, but it's a magician using a single trick, copyrighted (painfully obvious) music, and no entertainment quality as his promo video. Okay, so it's not his "main" video, but it's no more enlightening or useful to watch than flourisher's card videos. Sure, interesting for 3 seconds to someone who hasn't seen it before, but quickly loses its charm.
All walks
While on tour, you expect to meet people from all walks of life. I never took into account that meant working with and hiring them, too. On my staff alone, I had some weird carny types, some normal guys, and a couple of complete psychopaths. Three hirees lasted less than an hour.
One in particular was a very large guy. Nothing wrong with being that big, but he wore a special undershirt that was supposed to help circulate air over his body as he respirated. The problem was the design of the shirt. It was a large black shirt with a huge white oval that covered the chest and the stomach.
He looked like a panda.
So, hence his nickname, "Panda!"
and backstage it was the Southpark quote, "Sexual Harassment.... Panda!"
We had another guy who created nitro glycerin for a chemistry project in high school.
One guy, epileptic, had a seizure in the middle of mall while I was on a broom suspension.
I had a van full of staff ordering at the Dairy Queen drive through and our order took nearly 30 minutes to get made because the ENTIRE staff of DQ "had" to see the spider monkey crawling around the front seat and get pictures.
One guy came in, a "Union" guy. Within 10 minutes, told us that we couldn't make our lights do what we wanted them to do without over $3,000 in new equipment. Funny, we just bought everything we needed from Magic Etc., in Ft. Worth (all worked AWESOME by the way) for about $500. The guy was told to help raise the light truss (basically, you turn a hand crank at about the same speed the guy on the other stand turns his). He quit. Said it was too much work. Total time "employed": 37 minutes.
We had a breakdancing trio come in for a show. They were supposed to get signed on and add atmosphere to the entire show. We incorporated them in a show, it worked great, and then they just never showed up again. Ever.
From complete whores who just wanted to be on the road so they could have sex with more people, to innocent people who thought road life was all glitz, glam, fancy restaurants and five-star hotels... to every kind of person in between, I can finally say I've been a road employer. And I looooooved it.
Even though only half of the staff was my hiring, lol...
One in particular was a very large guy. Nothing wrong with being that big, but he wore a special undershirt that was supposed to help circulate air over his body as he respirated. The problem was the design of the shirt. It was a large black shirt with a huge white oval that covered the chest and the stomach.
He looked like a panda.
So, hence his nickname, "Panda!"
and backstage it was the Southpark quote, "Sexual Harassment.... Panda!"
We had another guy who created nitro glycerin for a chemistry project in high school.
One guy, epileptic, had a seizure in the middle of mall while I was on a broom suspension.
I had a van full of staff ordering at the Dairy Queen drive through and our order took nearly 30 minutes to get made because the ENTIRE staff of DQ "had" to see the spider monkey crawling around the front seat and get pictures.
One guy came in, a "Union" guy. Within 10 minutes, told us that we couldn't make our lights do what we wanted them to do without over $3,000 in new equipment. Funny, we just bought everything we needed from Magic Etc., in Ft. Worth (all worked AWESOME by the way) for about $500. The guy was told to help raise the light truss (basically, you turn a hand crank at about the same speed the guy on the other stand turns his). He quit. Said it was too much work. Total time "employed": 37 minutes.
We had a breakdancing trio come in for a show. They were supposed to get signed on and add atmosphere to the entire show. We incorporated them in a show, it worked great, and then they just never showed up again. Ever.
From complete whores who just wanted to be on the road so they could have sex with more people, to innocent people who thought road life was all glitz, glam, fancy restaurants and five-star hotels... to every kind of person in between, I can finally say I've been a road employer. And I looooooved it.
Even though only half of the staff was my hiring, lol...
Shiger.
So, while on the tour, we created a whole new breed of animal: a Shiger.
What is it? Well, before I can answer that, I have to tell you why we created this animal.
We were doing a string of shows in South Texas. We have this illusion in the beginning of the show that basically turns a girl into a live tiger. Well, that's all well and good for the first few nights. On a Saturday morning, our tiger wasn't in the cooperative mood so we decided not to use him that night. Ya know, to be safe.
But my co-star didn't like the idea of not using the illusion at all.
The show was set early in the morning, so we went out into the town to shop around and relax before the night's performance. We went to a local flea market, and that's where the boss (my co-star) found a young, white sheep. Yes, a sheep. Like, baaaa-aaa-aaa, sheep. Wool, poop, all of it, a sheep.
He bought it, we took it back (in a rental car), and we painted it (spray-in hair color) with orange and black stripes to make it look like a tiger.
Hence, a sheep-tiger, or a Shiger.
Okay, fun story time:
What was SUPPOSED to happen:
The beginning act consisted of a quick-change with pyro, a large cage-based transposition illusion, and another cage for a reproduction. What is supposed to happen: Star walks out, does a quick-change, crosses to large illusion. Opens door to show cage empty. Close cage, pretty girl climbs in through the top. Prop is spun, pyro goes off, prop shown empty. Star crosses to new cage on stage which is seen empty, lights a fire inside and pretty girl reappears. Reopen other cage to reveal tiger. Ta-da. Continue with show.
What actually happened:
Co-star (me) is hiding in a small secret area holding a painted sheep. Visualize this, then read on. Music begins, star comes out but his microphone is already on. Sounds of snaps and velcro play through sound system with no pyro. A mistake off the bat, star is now thrown off his game. Large cage is not shown empty. Pretty girl climbs into the cage from the top. Cage is spun and pyro goes off. Prop is opened early to reveal me hanging onto a very nervous looking Shiger. Other cage is still on stage, loaded. He never produced the girl. I climb out of the prop with the Shiger, and Star continues with the show -- pretty girl sits in the box onstage for a good 5 minutes before someone decided to just go out and quietly pull the cage back off, as the Star was doing a talking piece and obviously forgot to produce the assistant.
Just imagine again, me, in a dark space, with a Shiger.
Do it.
And laugh.
I did.
What is it? Well, before I can answer that, I have to tell you why we created this animal.
We were doing a string of shows in South Texas. We have this illusion in the beginning of the show that basically turns a girl into a live tiger. Well, that's all well and good for the first few nights. On a Saturday morning, our tiger wasn't in the cooperative mood so we decided not to use him that night. Ya know, to be safe.
But my co-star didn't like the idea of not using the illusion at all.
The show was set early in the morning, so we went out into the town to shop around and relax before the night's performance. We went to a local flea market, and that's where the boss (my co-star) found a young, white sheep. Yes, a sheep. Like, baaaa-aaa-aaa, sheep. Wool, poop, all of it, a sheep.
He bought it, we took it back (in a rental car), and we painted it (spray-in hair color) with orange and black stripes to make it look like a tiger.
Hence, a sheep-tiger, or a Shiger.
Okay, fun story time:
What was SUPPOSED to happen:
The beginning act consisted of a quick-change with pyro, a large cage-based transposition illusion, and another cage for a reproduction. What is supposed to happen: Star walks out, does a quick-change, crosses to large illusion. Opens door to show cage empty. Close cage, pretty girl climbs in through the top. Prop is spun, pyro goes off, prop shown empty. Star crosses to new cage on stage which is seen empty, lights a fire inside and pretty girl reappears. Reopen other cage to reveal tiger. Ta-da. Continue with show.
What actually happened:
Co-star (me) is hiding in a small secret area holding a painted sheep. Visualize this, then read on. Music begins, star comes out but his microphone is already on. Sounds of snaps and velcro play through sound system with no pyro. A mistake off the bat, star is now thrown off his game. Large cage is not shown empty. Pretty girl climbs into the cage from the top. Cage is spun and pyro goes off. Prop is opened early to reveal me hanging onto a very nervous looking Shiger. Other cage is still on stage, loaded. He never produced the girl. I climb out of the prop with the Shiger, and Star continues with the show -- pretty girl sits in the box onstage for a good 5 minutes before someone decided to just go out and quietly pull the cage back off, as the Star was doing a talking piece and obviously forgot to produce the assistant.
Just imagine again, me, in a dark space, with a Shiger.
Do it.
And laugh.
I did.
Sauces?
A bit off-topic...
I just learned tonight that I love food for the sauce I put on it. I realized I actually hate enchiladas, quesadillias, pasta and lasagna, pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs, and most varieties of cheese. But I love the tasty condiments to put on them!
I suppose an old line of mine is actually true, "The burrito is merely a vessel for the FireSauce™"
But it let me to think about how we perceive the world around us based on what we are told to perceive. Even something as simple as what are desires should be. I have always been told, and therefore believed, my tastes were for regional flavors. Ya know, mexican food, italian food, thai food, etc. However, the epiphany that I only liked the sauces for these foods, the condiments and the dressings and so forth, lead me to realize there is actually reason and order behind my taste in foods.
I love pizza, but only for the marinara sauce. I always get extra, to dip the pizza in. Same with cheese sticks, garlic bread, etc.
I love mexican food, not for the unique southern flavor, but for salsa, picante, pico de gallo, chili con queso topping, and hot sauces.
I love italian food, but not for the pasta. I love the red sauces and meat sauces, the salad dressings and the unique balsamic vinegrette..
I love thai food, not for the asian cuisine and nice waitstaff, but the peanut sauces, the tom sum, and the creative uses of wasabi and ginger.
And American food, I love not for the meats and cheeses. I love ketchup, mustard, barbeque sauces, steak sauces, thousand island dressings and more types of gravy than I can appreciate in one sitting.
So, here I am, openly admitting that I am addicted to condiments.
I just learned tonight that I love food for the sauce I put on it. I realized I actually hate enchiladas, quesadillias, pasta and lasagna, pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs, and most varieties of cheese. But I love the tasty condiments to put on them!
I suppose an old line of mine is actually true, "The burrito is merely a vessel for the FireSauce™"
But it let me to think about how we perceive the world around us based on what we are told to perceive. Even something as simple as what are desires should be. I have always been told, and therefore believed, my tastes were for regional flavors. Ya know, mexican food, italian food, thai food, etc. However, the epiphany that I only liked the sauces for these foods, the condiments and the dressings and so forth, lead me to realize there is actually reason and order behind my taste in foods.
I love pizza, but only for the marinara sauce. I always get extra, to dip the pizza in. Same with cheese sticks, garlic bread, etc.
I love mexican food, not for the unique southern flavor, but for salsa, picante, pico de gallo, chili con queso topping, and hot sauces.
I love italian food, but not for the pasta. I love the red sauces and meat sauces, the salad dressings and the unique balsamic vinegrette..
I love thai food, not for the asian cuisine and nice waitstaff, but the peanut sauces, the tom sum, and the creative uses of wasabi and ginger.
And American food, I love not for the meats and cheeses. I love ketchup, mustard, barbeque sauces, steak sauces, thousand island dressings and more types of gravy than I can appreciate in one sitting.
So, here I am, openly admitting that I am addicted to condiments.
Looking Back
I've been quiet here a while, and it's nice to know that the things I wrote about and dedicated myself to do have actually come to fruition. Amazing what a little perseverance will allow you to do.
I've been on national tour, co-starring a grand illusion show for the last 6 months. I've been all over the USA, my name in lights, and learned more than I anticipated I would.
Now, I'm ready to take what I learned and take it to the next level.
This is my life, and I'm glad to make everyone else a part of it!
I've been on national tour, co-starring a grand illusion show for the last 6 months. I've been all over the USA, my name in lights, and learned more than I anticipated I would.
Now, I'm ready to take what I learned and take it to the next level.
This is my life, and I'm glad to make everyone else a part of it!
Road Thoughts...
This will be fairly short, as this Android app is really not user friendly.
Touring is fun. The road is fun. Shows constantly are fun... but I am so over working for a show with no artistic value.
Touring is fun. The road is fun. Shows constantly are fun... but I am so over working for a show with no artistic value.
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From the road
So, I've been on international tour, co-starring an illusion show since June. I have had very little time on the computer, lol. However, I doubt I could be happier. I'll post longer blogs about it soon, but i want to hit the highlights as i fall asleep.. I play with real tigers almost every day, I have my name in lights and am treated like royalty, I have seen more country and scenery than ever in my life, met so many exciting people, and all while doing something I love. :) I couldnt be happier... or could I...?
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