While on tour, you expect to meet people from all walks of life. I never took into account that meant working with and hiring them, too. On my staff alone, I had some weird carny types, some normal guys, and a couple of complete psychopaths. Three hirees lasted less than an hour.
One in particular was a very large guy. Nothing wrong with being that big, but he wore a special undershirt that was supposed to help circulate air over his body as he respirated. The problem was the design of the shirt. It was a large black shirt with a huge white oval that covered the chest and the stomach.
He looked like a panda.
So, hence his nickname, "Panda!"
and backstage it was the Southpark quote, "Sexual Harassment.... Panda!"
We had another guy who created nitro glycerin for a chemistry project in high school.
One guy, epileptic, had a seizure in the middle of mall while I was on a broom suspension.
I had a van full of staff ordering at the Dairy Queen drive through and our order took nearly 30 minutes to get made because the ENTIRE staff of DQ "had" to see the spider monkey crawling around the front seat and get pictures.
One guy came in, a "Union" guy. Within 10 minutes, told us that we couldn't make our lights do what we wanted them to do without over $3,000 in new equipment. Funny, we just bought everything we needed from Magic Etc., in Ft. Worth (all worked AWESOME by the way) for about $500. The guy was told to help raise the light truss (basically, you turn a hand crank at about the same speed the guy on the other stand turns his). He quit. Said it was too much work. Total time "employed": 37 minutes.
We had a breakdancing trio come in for a show. They were supposed to get signed on and add atmosphere to the entire show. We incorporated them in a show, it worked great, and then they just never showed up again. Ever.
From complete whores who just wanted to be on the road so they could have sex with more people, to innocent people who thought road life was all glitz, glam, fancy restaurants and five-star hotels... to every kind of person in between, I can finally say I've been a road employer. And I looooooved it.
Even though only half of the staff was my hiring, lol...
