It seems that no matter how hard I try, how much I work, how much I push myself, I still end up on the shit list.
I could rant about a lot of things right now in the state of mind I'm in, but particularly one subject is stinging a bit more.
See, in running a portrait studio, you do a lot of advertising. You tell everyone, you offer specials (even freebies) to everyone to help get your name out there better. And yet, when it boils right down to it, some people would still rather spend 100's to 1,000's of dollars for shitty senior portraits just for the name recognition of the studio. Funny how that works out. Or, better yet, get this, they get a friend to do it. One who knows just enough about photoshop to be dangerous with filters... so they get them back and think they're SO COOL just because someone knows how to click "filters>render>lens flare" or play with the contrast sliders.
So what, then, is the point of trying? Why do all this work... free and otherwise.... to be completely ignored and looked over when push comes to shove?
Especially for shitty work!?
I admit that I, like many, am learning more everyday and want to continually produce better and better results.
Hard to find motivation, though, when you best work looks better to the client after they play with the filters menu in photoshop.
Magic wasn't paying the bills and after five years of trying I finally set it on the backburner. Now, after feverently pursuing photography to the point of owning a full-service studio and still being at rock bottom, what's left? Needlepoint? No.
Look for me at your favorite corporate office somewhere, working a desk job. My dreams were never meant to be lived out. They were never meant to come true. I don't know why I was so ignorant to believe I could do anything. Those dreams are all dead, smashed, and shattered. At least I can look back later and say I tried, right?
