Nothing Does It...

It seems that no matter how hard I try, how much I work, how much I push myself, I still end up on the shit list.
I could rant about a lot of things right now in the state of mind I'm in, but particularly one subject is stinging a bit more.

See, in running a portrait studio, you do a lot of advertising.  You tell everyone, you offer specials (even freebies) to everyone to help get your name out there better.  And yet, when it boils right down to it, some people would still rather spend 100's to 1,000's of dollars for shitty senior portraits just for the name recognition of the studio.  Funny how that works out.    Or, better yet, get this, they get a friend to do it.  One who knows just enough about photoshop to be dangerous with filters... so they get them back and think they're SO COOL just because someone knows how to click "filters>render>lens flare" or play with the contrast sliders.

So what, then, is the point of trying?  Why do all this work... free and otherwise.... to be completely ignored and looked over when push comes to shove?
Especially for shitty work!?

I admit that I, like many, am learning more everyday and want to continually produce better and better results.
Hard to find motivation, though, when you best work looks better to the client after they play with the filters menu in photoshop.

Magic wasn't paying the bills and after five years of trying I finally set it on the backburner.  Now, after feverently pursuing photography to the point of owning a full-service studio and still being at rock bottom, what's left? Needlepoint? No.

Look for me at your favorite corporate office somewhere, working a desk job.  My dreams were never meant to be lived out.  They were never meant to come true.  I don't know why I was so ignorant to believe I could do anything.  Those dreams are all dead, smashed, and shattered.  At least I can look back later and say I tried, right?

Back to the drawing board...

So, I've been told by a number of people that the photo that I'm currently using as default on my actual website is too "Clockwork Orange" and sends the wrong kind of message.  I think it's actually a classy photo of me in my suit wearing a nice hat.  It's actually a great portrait...
...but evidently isn't anything that anyone else likes.
So, I'll fix that too, while I'm at it....

Aaron

School's in Session

So, I have been doing research for the last couple of months on different photography techniques.  I can't seem to get my documents to save on the PC right now, so I'm typing up a list of ideas for new upcoming equipment here...

Huge sheet of plexiglass.
Huge white paper roll
Large sheet of melamine (dry erase board)
vinyl floors from The Home Depot or Lowe's
Ceiling-rigged backdrop system (not tripod/floor based)
Metallic cloth and some pop-out devices (old hampers, etc) to make easy reflectors with.
Powerpack lighting system, ceiling suspension setup (with counterbalanced heads).
A few other backdrops for the mounted system (dyed cotton, solid red/black/etc).
Cool chairs and props for model/senior shoots
Space for a permenant setup.

Damnit

Babe, I don't think you have any clue just how bad you were tonight.