So, I am spending this Christmas alone.
Partly due to the weather, partly by free choice.
I've screwed up so much in my life so far, irreparable damage has been made, and I don't see myself being able to face my family, my friends, or anyone else, until I find a healthy way to cope. I've tried everything to get myself out of this funk, but I've at least come to terms with the fact that I need to fix my problems, not just avoid them, if I ever want to be free of this mess.
I'm taking steps to improve my life, but almost just as many to ruin it.
Maybe someday I'll learn...
